THE EVOLUTION OF MASTURBATION
An angry slit between the legs and hair that didn’t know which way to go and decided on every way possible. It’s amazing the way we, as baby girls, split open—two by two, everything, two by two. A block of flesh, splits on two sides to create arms. The bottom half splits down the middle to create legs, and through the center, down into the ground, the perfect aperture for waste disposal. Clinically simple, efficient. Through and out so elegantly. Meatier down the thighs with flexibility, we were all once every animal, but none which wreaked such pleasure and wild as this. None which so much as dreamt of hairless limbs and non-organic, milk-less projectiles from the chest. Now a caricature, now a painted doll, now a cubby hole for worthless possessions.