The University realizes it doesn’t really cover the universe, so it changes its name to the Worldity, but the Worldity realizes it isn’t really all that global, that it’s entire perspective is very much promotional to its own country’s perspectives, so it changes its name to the Countryity, but the Countryity could care less about the states other than the one where it resides, so the Countryity changes its name to Statity, but the Statity realizes it’s not so much concerned about the state as a whole, in fact, several of its greatest rivals are within the state, so it changes its name to the Cityity, but the Cityity could care less about the economic problems of the city where its dorms and buildings are located, its only real concern is the university itself so it wisely changes its name to the Universityity and only invites alumni to attend alumni events that exclude the general public who can’t even park anywhere on campus without being ticketed and the general public don’t know about the on-campus events anyway or can’t afford them so it becomes a wonderful Incestity with the widespread acceptance of nepotism and an ensuring that anyone who is actually from the city of the Universityity/Incestity will be poverty-wage adjunct faculty and the highest paid faculty will be people from New York.

Ron Riekki
Knut Hamsun