Taking a shit like this should
not be such an ordeal, but the kids playing with the water balloons are making
it one. I ate two cans of Alpo an hour ago and since I’ve got colitis, it
runs right through me, so I’m in here with all my belongings in my damn duffel
back, just trying to take this shit. The kids come running in, boys being
chased by girls, and they’re all throwing water balloons and screaming.
“God Damn It!” I yell, “Can’t a
man take a shit in peace?!”
They all stop yelling and dart
out and I can hear them through the grate in the little window open above the
stall frantically telling every kid who will listen not to go in there because
there’s some crazy guy in there taking a shit.
Well that gets the trouble makers
coming in and I hear one of them say,
“Fee Fie Foe Fum! I smell an
Englishman taking a shit!”
And over the stall door comes an
untied water balloon spraying me with water all the way down. Others come
in throwing garbage. They get bored and stop. And I try again taking this
God damned shit.
Jason Half-Pillow
The Sun Also Rises
Hemingway