She loved him but hated giving blow jobs. On prom night, in the back seat of his daddy’s Buick, she convinced him not to ‘go’ in her mouth. She reminded him she was diabetic and it’s a known scientific fact that semen contains lots of sugar and should she accidentally swallow his load, she could end up in a diabetic coma. They’d miss the prom, the bowl-a-thon, the seniors only breakfast. He’d have to rush her to the emergency room for a stomach pumping.
The doctor who did the pumping would find the semen. They would analyze the DNA and know it was his, just like on TV. Her daddy and her brothers, the two that weren’t in jail, would come after him with shotguns blazing, while her poor mama kept a bedside vigil as she slipped deeper into her coma.
He went limp as a dishrag when he heard the word, ‘shotgun.’ After that, he wouldn’t even kiss her.
A Man Without a Country