LIVE MONEY, SAVE BETTER
On weekends we head down to Wal-Mart to shoplift. Friday night I'm in the automotive section picking out spark plugs when an old woman walks by. A frail little thing with the face of a bird. She waddles right past, murmuring something about the goddamned Jews. She has a large blue bag. She reaches out and grabs some pine-scented air fresheners and slips them inside. Forgetting the spark plugs, I follow her. Electronics. She snags a DVD, new release. Cosmetics. A jar of cold cream. She starts toward the exit but doesn't walk out. She waits for a few kids my age to leave the store. They are laughing at something as she slips past them. The alarm goes off. An employee rushes forward, telling them to stop. He starts searching their bags. The old woman pauses. Shakes her head. Goddamned faggots, she says, you should all be ashamed of yourselves.
A Prayer for the Dying