CHECK OUT BOY - nicole monaghan

I’m the cashier at CVS who girls feel weird buying tampons from. They know I’m thinking about them going home and sticking things inside them, that I’m guessing sometimes it feels good, a little like I might but smaller.

It’s dumb to pay a premium on a loaf of slice bread but I respect, in a perverted way, those career ladies who don’t have time for the supermarket. They stop here on the way home from whatever jobs require them to wear enough perfume that I smell them coming before they pass the photo kiosk.

My brother called me fag, said cashier implied girl and when I said screw you he said, fine check out boy. That makes sense.

I’m only doing this till school starts. Then I’m studying to be a financial planner, teach people how to build up their empires instead of pissing them away.

I feel a little bad for the shy girl with the pads because she’s pretty. She looks like having me ring her up is the worst thing she’s ever had to do.

Nicole Monaghan
Famous Fathers & Other Stories
Pia Z. Ehrhardt