WHY WE LOVE THE GERMANS
Candace, a woman who wears heels a few times a week and studies Biology, meets a man called Bernie from Düsseldorf, Germany on a bus ride to Seattle. They talk about how the Germans log their forests. Their methods leave 40% more trees standing. “I’ve always wanted to live in Germany,” Candace says brightly. When they part at the Greyhound station, Bernie flags a taxi and has the driver follow Candace, who has been picked up by her boyfriend Ned in the front circle drive. Ned is late and grumpy but he has brought her flowers. He only says he loves Seattle traffic once on the drive to his parent’s house in the suburbs. The parents are away on vacation in Tempe. The house is huge, overwhelming. Candace and Ned drink red wine before ending up in the master bedroom.
Meanwhile, Bernie walks in through the unlocked front door and finds them upstairs, the boyfriend sucking at Candace’s small, pert nipples.
In a strict voice, Bernie begins, “I vergot to tell you, but I just remember. I told you da wrong ding about Düsseldorf. Dere are sex hundred tousand people living dere, not sex tousand.”