Lets ring ahead and warn Grandmother that we are bringing guests. Then she can sprinkle powdered feces of dead relatives into their cups of tea. Grandma has won against the following people; most of our neighbors, Dame Judy Dench's sister Dorothy Dench, 8 visiting Jehovah’s Witnesses, some neighborhood cats, Peter Albany, Lisa Meek. She has lots of powdered feces left. She is shitting in the freezer now because she has cancer in her stomach and doesn't have long left.
The Home Cyclopedia of Popular Medical, Social and Sexual Science
Dr. E B Foote