SLICE OF LIFE - bill barr


bill barr

Deep REM sleep, I spring bolt upright in bed. Epiphany! Race to the computer in the dark, bang my shin, knock over a plant, step on the cat. Do I have a cat? Put my hand down in what I hope is a piece of pie oops fall into my flippin’ ergonomic chair.

Singing computer, “Doo-doo-duh-dum.” Why so loud? Some kid must’ve been listening to his awful music while I was sleeping and ate half a piece of pie. Can’t turn volume down unless the computer is on? What shit design. Like on DVD movies, I have to watch the production company owner’s little boy dance while daddy’s titles play. Pressing the menu button won’t remove the red circle slash flashing in the corner of my screen. They can get away with making me watch their ads on MY DVD? I paid for it! Like commercials during previews at the theater. Always said that’ll never happen. Oh no, looked directly at the computer screen, the operating system logo is seared onto my eyeballs.

Word. Open file. Clickin' blank document. What was the idea? Just had it; woke me up from deep sleep. Something about a… hey, look, I’ve got pie.

Bill Barr