I Blame the Media
Sometimes when I masturbate I think about violence. I picture people, men or women, being raped, beaten. If I cannot stay focused I think specifically about the scene in American History X where Edward Norton gets gang-banged by white supremists in the prison showers. This usually works.
Sometimes I picture normal things. Two people having sex. Sweat and romance. The man is not too short or too hairy, and his dick is not too small. The woman does not have stretch marks or cellulite, and her tits do not sag. It is not awkward and there are no mistakes. I do not know who these people are. Maybe I saw them in a movie. Maybe I made them up.
I am never in my fantasies.
Hannah Smart, age 20.