I just fucked a horrible woman for seventy dollars, plus lunch. Her armpits smelled like mayonnaise and when she came she punched me in the side of the head.

Tonight might be better. I'll work the McDonalds -- the manager feeds me chicken nuggets in between chewing on his nipples, and the evenings roll faster on a full stomach. This one time I got booked by a girl who said she was a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. She took me to the Olive Garden: all-I-could-eat pasta and a finger up my ass in the ladies’ room. Not bad for fifty bucks.

Robin White
Twitter @robinjameswhite
Tenth of December
George Saunders